Pointless Parchment
by Mrs Bella Riddle
Summary: Bellatrix could never understand the logic behind writing her thoughts on paper, but, after her release from Azkaban, Narcissa, was insistent she express her feelings in writing. To Bella, the whole idea is ridiculous. For the Diary Prompt Challenge


This is something very different for the Diary Prompt Challenge on HPFC. It is the diary of Bellatrix Lestrange using the prompts tea and "I hate you". It is obviously written in a diary format as if Bellatrix wrote it so all the bolding and cross outs would be what she would have done. As well, she does not trust anyone not to read it so it is not as personal as it could be. It was something interesting to do, but I'm not sure I could write something like this again.

Please be aware this is complete. I don't imagine she would have had the patience to write any more entries. The last one is a hint about why when you consider the time.

Anyway, here we go.

* * *

_27__th__ January 1996_

_Dear Diary,_

_Really? Am I expected to write that? Why would I address something to a diary? I have enough problems grasping why I would bother writing this in the first place. It is foolish Narcissa's fault. She insisted I write things down. She has developed the opinion that I need to express my feelings. _

_It is laughable. I have no desire to state my personal thoughts to anyone let alone write them on paper that anyone else could read. No, stupid diary, you will not contain any ideas. _

_Besides, the logic is flawed. The only reason Narcissa wants me to write is so she can pretend she is doing something for me. It has been two weeks since the Dark Lord released me from Azkaban. From the moment of my release, I knew others saw something different. Yes my old good looks have gone, but it doesn't matter. Prissy, perfect Narcissa doesn't understand. The change is only a mark of my loyalty. Every time I stare into a mirror I don't lament the loss of my looks. I only see the extent of my loyalty. Other should make such sacrifices to the Dark Lord. Only he is worthy._

_Narcissa thinks there's something different going on. She assumes I'm somehow damaged. She's wrong. _

_She tried talking to me about it, but, after only a few words from me about the horrors of Azkaban, she shrunk away. _

_She was too weak to even hear._

_So what do I write? Little diary and whoever has thought it wise to lift up this book, your nightmares couldn't even come close to the reality of Azkaban. Yet, it was worth it. I waited for the Dark Lord and he released him. My loyalty will be rewarded beyond my wildest dreams._

_I would never change my actions even for a moment._

_There you have it diary. Look at how pointless you are. Don't expect me to write again._

_- Bellatrix Lestrange_

* * *

_22__nd__ February 1996_

_Pointless Diary,_

_My __**my**__ I am here again. Don't flatter yourself pointless parchment bound into a book into believing this means you matter. There is just nothing else to do. Of course, I would never share the Dark Lord's plans for that would be an absolute disgrace and betrayal. I only mention it to suggest there is nothing worth my attention as I have no business to do for him._

_The only thing to consider is Narcissa's suggestion. Currently she is downstairs engrossed in tea with our __**dear **__mother. Now these thoughts I have no problem expressing. Anyone can know how I think of her. She is a worthless woman. Throughout her life she has done __**nothing! **__She married, she birthed children and she hosted balls and galas which she was so proud of yet they were all pointless. Then, even worse, she expected her daughters to do the same. Precious Narcissa did, but I never could. I married Rodolphus, though that was it. No I have absolutely no respect for her. _

_I wonder what she would do if she saw me now? Narcissa was appalled I can only imagine how our even more vain mother would react._

_Actually! I want to see her face! _

_[_There is a large gap in the page until it is restarted half way down the page]

_It was worth it. I am still laughing at her face. Other than her grey hair and collection of wrinkles, she is the same; still as ridiculous as always. She couldn't foresee my appearance. I even considered embracing her just to see how much she would fret about the dirt._

_Obviously I didn't go that far._

_Well, now that is over I do not plan to see her again. Now just to wait until the old bat dies. Not that I will attend her funeral._

_Perhaps I should leave this entry for Narcissa or mother to see. Their faces could be amusing._

_Until the next time I have to succumb to relieving my boredom with you,_

_- Bellatrix Lestrange_

* * *

_20__th__ April 1996_

_Just some parchment,_

_To think I thought I was finished with you. After my last entry I threw you to the side of my bed, but my sister seems more determined than I thought that I should continue on this pointless endeavour. She has just handed you back to me and suggested I write something else to express my feelings. When I asked for ideas, she suggested I write about my marriage. I can assure you this entry took me a long time to write as there was a considerable pause while I laughed at the thought._

_As I mentioned above, I have no intention of expressing my personal feelings, though, like with my mother, anyone can know about how I view my __**lovely **__husband. Yes I did marry him by my own choice, yes we do have some things in common and yes he is occasionally tolerable, but that is only half the story. In all honesty, the most accurate thing I could ever tell him about my feelings are these word- "I hate you." It is true that stupid man is not worthy of being my husband. He is pointless and pathetic. I'm stuck bound to him for the rest of my life. Worse he actually think I care. I do __**not. **__**He is not like Him. **__So__there you have it. There are my thoughts and true feelings; my hatred for my husband._

_Now, as I hand you over to Narcissa to show her I actually wrote something, I wonder if she will feel shocked, angry or upset. I suppose I need not worry too long. She can't hide how she feels from me. Can't you Narcissa?_

_- Bellatrix Lestrange_

* * *

_23__rd__ April 1996_

_Here we are again diary,_

_Let us see I'm forced to return to the parchment again. This time my sister has been continuing to irk me yet again, so in my boredom I return to you. This time it has been her son, my nephew. The last time I saw Draco he was still in nappies and now he is fifteen. He looks so much like Lucius. It is a shame. He will be one of the last to carry the name of Black, but his appearance would not suggest that._

_I also suspect I scare him. Oh well. If he is scared that easily then the boy is worthless. He needs to toughen up. Whoever is reading this you are welcome to take action on that note._

_- Bellatrix Lestrange_

* * *

[There is the slight smudge of blood in various places on the parchment]

_12__th__ May 1996_

_I would prefer to do something else at that moment. I would prefer to curse the traitors and the failures after I have just been informed of their actions. A group has just returned having failed and expressed sympathy for mudbloods. I don't know if the Dark Lord punished them or not. I wish I knew, but, either way, I feel the need to teach them a lesson they deserve to face. It's taking all of my self control to not do so. This is my moment's pause. It has not worked. _

_They need to be punished._

_- Bellatrix Lestrange_

* * *

_19__th__ June 1996_

_Finally! I would never presume to make it seem like I would assume when the Dark Lord should act, but now I can finally serve the Dark Lord once again. I will not tell you what I will do, but I shall return soon __**after my Lord has rewarded me**__._

_- Bellatrix Lestrange_


End file.
